Losowe angielskie dowcipy
Clinton in History ->
What will Bill Clinton be known for in history? The president after Bush!... [ca³y ->]
13 Things Films Have Taught Us ->
1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off. 2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincin... [ca³y ->]
Puns by the Pound! ->
Q: what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow-job... Q: Did you hear about the queer burglar? A: He couldn't blow the safe do he went down on the elevator... Q: Why is it so groovy to ... [ca³y ->]
I'm glad I'm a woman ->
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don't live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don't brag to my buddies about my erections. I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don't get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. A... [ca³y ->]
One-liners for kids ->
Q: What goes TICK-TICK, WOOF-WOOF? A: A watchdog! Q: Why do male deer need braces? A: Because they have "buck teeth!"... [ca³y ->]
Washing Machine Is Better ->
Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.... [ca³y ->]
Bill Gates' Wedding Night ->
What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on his wedding night? "Now I know why you called your company Microsoft"... [ca³y ->]
5 Good Reasons Not To... ->
5 Good Reasons not to be a Penis! 1. You're bald your entire life. 2. You have a hole in your head. 3. You live between two nuts. 4. An asshole lives behind you. 5. When you get excited, you throw up and then you faint.... [ca³y ->]
20When Reaches Orgasm ->
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file! A2: Who cares? A3: She says, "Next". A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder. A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes. A6: I mean, who really... [ca³y ->]
Another Bill Joke ->
Q: How are a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky alike? A: Insert Bill here.... [ca³y ->]
Stressed out?...try these! ->
If you're feeling a bit stressed, try these to deal with it... Dance naked in front of your pets. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong. (NOTE: this also works well with the hubby who stayed... [ca³y ->]
Revocation of Independence ->
To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen ... [ca³y ->]
The damn ham ->
Once there was a preacher's wife who went into a bakery and asked the butcher waht the daily special was. He said it was the "damn ham." She immediatly started yelling at the top of her lungs. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT I'M THE PREACHE... [ca³y ->]
Naughty Night Before Christmas ->
The Naughty Night Before Christmas Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momm... [ca³y ->]
Thor the God of Love ->
THOR, the God of Love wakes up the morning after the orgy. As he sits up, stretches and looks around, he sees a beautiful, shapely, young blonde standing in the doorway. He walks over and says - "Good morning, I'm THOR"! She looks back at hi... [ca³y ->]